Sacred Intent for the New Year

We're four days into the new year and folks are all about new year's resolutions. Personally, I turned in my resolutions years ago for intentions. My dictionary says that resolution is "boldness and firmness of purpose" while intention is  "an aim or purpose." Call it semantics if you want, but it feels like a softer, gentler, more focused way to hold my energy for the year.

When we set intentions, we are putting things into motion on an energetic level. This is why it is so important to hold intentions in a sacred way. They are powerful acts of creation. When we set an intent, we are, in fact, creating a movement of energy in the infinite field of energy that we live in. We are asking for something new and specific to arise, and we are saying no to what no longer serves us. This is a sacred act not to be taken lightly. In taking such things lightly, we risk creating chaos in our lives.

This is a great time to take stock of our past resolutions or intentions, to choose again what we want to carry forward and what we want to let go of, and then to consciously cut from what we're leaving behind. Consciously cutting from what we no longer want in life is as important as choosing what we want. It frees up the energy we had invested in the old thing to feed the new thing we want today.

 We are allowed to change our minds and change our direction; things change all the time. To ignore the changes means we are not present with what is. We can drag all the old stuff forward if we want, but all it does is weigh us down, slow our movement and add confusion to our journey. Now is the perfect time to review our old intentions and revise them, updating them to the newest version of who we are.

The funny thing about intentions is that they are a two-part process: we have them, we hold them with 100% commitment and yet we surrender them at the same time. Well, we don't really surrender them; we surrender how we think they should look. Usually when we set an intent, our mind butts in and tells us how it should look when the intent is met - how we will know we've succeeded. But the reality is that our mind doesn't see past our nose, so the picture it gives us is very limited and limiting. The mind wants us to believe that what we want is impossible or unobtainable for whatever reasons it conjures up. If we let it, it can stop us in our tracks...

That's why it's important to let go of the image the mind creates as the measure of whether or not we've been successful in our intentions. It's about releasing attachment to the outcome and opening up to the infinite possibilities. The feeling state of what we want to achieve seeds the Universe with what we are asking for; it's the vibration that the Universe responds to. So we let go of the how ("How will this happen? How will this look? How is this possible?") and focus our energy on the what. What is it that we want to feel when we meet our intent?

This is a great year to open up to the infinite possibilities surrounding our intents and invite the Universe to be creative in supporting their expression in our lives. We must open the eyes of our hearts to see the possibilities most clearly. They may not look at all like our mind imagines them, but that doesn't mean they didn't show up. If we limit our view to that of our mind and to what it thinks things are supposed to look like or how they're supposed to happen, we might easily miss what it is when it actually shows up!

I am reminded of how powerful it is to celebrate each intent and hold gratitude for each step we make toward it. Even the ones we let go of and cut from are important markers along our journey. What we don't choose is just as significant as what we do choose. Each choice is an expression of our being; each thing we accept or reject is a reflection of who we are in this moment. Take nothing for granted.

It's easy to fall into the trap of judging ourselves for not meeting our new year intentions. Be aware of this trap! Instead of judging yourself this year, take time to reflect on and decide if each intent you set is really what you want, and then celebrate your freedom to choose anew as you move your life forward.

Happy New Year, my friends. May you be inspired by the infinite possibilities of life.

Flourish

In the wave of Spring energy and the growing light of day from Beltane, I make space to step outside and enjoy the gorgeous weather. On Sunday - Beltane - I participated in a day-long workshop for women about honoring and feeding energy to the things in our lives that we are birthing. Spring and in particular, Beltane are all about birth, fertility, the Earth, abundance, planting and blossoming, sexuality, and the balance between the energies of the Earth/Feminine and the Sky/Masculine within our beings, in alignment with the balanced need for both female and male energies in creating life in general.

In preparing for the very sacred day to begin, we were invited to find a word or a phrase that held the energy of what we were wanting to grow in our lives. Instantly, the word that arose in my mind was "Flourish." What a perfect word for my day, considering that I am smack-dab in the middle of "growing" several things: my books, my yoga classes, my workshop offerings, and my personal support/life coaching practice.

Over the course of the day, we entered into deep relationship with each the Elements to find support around our intent. Every time I met one of the Elements, I asked "What can you offer around my intent to flourish?" and without pause, each shared a beautiful gift. By the end of the day, I had some wonderful wisdom to rest into and contemplate around my intent.

In the shadow of having a mere 178 days left to live, I sit with my intentions and my life dreams for these remaining days. And I find myself asking: "Is THIS what I REALLY want to be doing, or W'OULD do if I really only had 6 more months to live?? And then another powerful question arose: "WHY CHANGE ANYTHING?" In that statement lies the key to this whole adventure: This is the opportunity to move toward death - or more precisely, to move through life - with consciousness rather than pretending that I have all the time in the world to do whatever... This is the opportunity to create the best dream of life that I can! "Is that what I'm doing? Am I succeeding?" Most of me says, "YES!" and yet, an additional question arises: "How can I reach a place of feeling completely complete with what IS - no matter what stage of evolution it's in - when I die?? 

 As I write that, I ask myself: "What needs to happen for me to feel complete with the things I'm creating right now? What IS 'complete' and what does that mean, really? And is THAT the goal here - to feel 'complete?' Or what IS the goal - MY goal - before I die??"

Hmmmmmm.

Fire & Water

So it's done nothing but rain for two days here in Central Texas.... beautiful! Rain is the Element of Water - cleansing, purifying, washing away what no longer serves to make space for what does. Water through sweat, spit, urine, and tears purifies and detoxes the body, creating spaciousness in the being. And just as the rain supports and nourishes new plant and animal growth and life, water supports and nourishes human growth and life by quenching our thirst and washing us clean. On the microcosmic level, our bodies are primarily made up of water and space. What I love the most about the Element of Water is that it supports our integrity of expression, especially with our emotions. It teaches us how to be "fluid" with ourselves and in our expressions of ourselves as we move through this dynamic life. So I say "Welcome!" to the rain that is such a powerful Elemental ally. It graciously offers so many gifts to me...

And what a perfect compliment it is to what I did last weekend: Last Saturday, I participated in a ceremonial firewalk focused on naming intentions and then feeding energy into them: What do I want to create in this life I have left? Where am I now and where do I want to go from here? The facilitator of this walk is one of my spiritual teachers, guides, and mentors; he is particularly powerful when it comes to energy play, especially with the Element of Fire. So the small, private event was a powerful experience and I immediately began to see the effects of what I'd set in motion; I'm talking - THAT night!

The Element of Fire is about transformation. Fire burns away the old to make space for the new. It clears blocks to movement and then heals, nourishes and restores the space it purged. How beautiful is that? Fire is about our spirit, our life force energy and our passion. It is about our intention. It restores our sense of curiosity and innocence, bringing us fully present to appreciate each moment as a brand new opportunity to explore and engage with life and its mysteries.

I can "see" and track the movement of the energy I (we) awakened that night in my life. Opportunities are arising everywhere in support of the intentions that I set; they are unmistakable! And so I gratefully and respectfully say "YES!" to them. And I realize that in order for me to birth and hold these things, I must first purge what no longer serves my newest intentions, to create the spaciousness for what's arising now within my being. The initial purge was with fire; I left the firewalk with very clear messages of what internal and energetic blocks needed to be cleared for me to move forward with my intents. So, I have done ceremony and practices to clear them. Now, I have the beautiful, soothing rainwater as a gentle reminder of what residue still needs cleansing. Yes, today I celebrate the powerful gifts from the Elements of Fire and Water that so graciously support my expansion and movement along this journey of joy-filled Divine service.

"How much time do I have to see these things through before I die?" I ask myself; and the answer is: "About 9 months. Wow - that's not a whole lot of time. Is it? What can I do in 9 months?" And then I think, "Well, that's a silly question! New human life is grown in 9 months!" And that thought makes me feel really empowered and inspired! I may not be birthing human babies, but I am birthing babies of a different sort all the time: books, articles, blogs, classes, prayers, songs, ideas, friendships, openings for other people, and on and on and on...

In 9 months, I can create openings for brand new life to seed, develop, and emerge... How great is that??

©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

It's a matter of perception

Yesterday I got a clear reflection of where I am today when an old "thorn" thrust itself into my beautiful day...

"Wow, he's really PISSED!" I thought, as this person raged over the phone. What was different for me this time is that I did not identify with it; I did not take it personally, take it on, or take it in... well, that's not exactly true.  I held my energy centered, listened to the energy of what he was expressing, felt the intensity of his body as he tried to navigate his way through the emotional eruption, and then, when he was done and said he was going to hang up, I simply said, "I love you" and hung up. And then I felt compassion for him, for the suffering he creates in his life and for the poison he spews out to those who love him.

I had an instant - well, maybe a few moments really - of questioning myself, of doubting and scolding myself ("How could I have missed that? I was so careful! I can't believe I did it again; I pissed him off again..."), and of judging him ("He's made up all these stories about me in his head, and now he's searching for proof that he's right! He just looks for data to validate his perception of me, and that's all he sees.") It's that part of me that, after all these years, still wants him to see me the way I see myself; still wants him to like me, respect me, appreciate me, love me. I don't like the stories or the person he's created me into; I want him to see the real me!

And then I see it: I'm just like him: I want to be right - about me. There's the "hook!" The game I'm playing is really no different from his. I see myself a certain way and I want him to see me that way too, instead of the way he does. I've made up my own stories of me and am searching for proof that I'm right; and all I see are the things that support my perception of myself; and I reject the things that don't... Wow. My game is no different from his; it just looks a bit different.

So there's a piece of work to be done - clearing old fears and beliefs that drive that train. What parts of this energy do I own and how can I shift them? "Yay!" I say to myself: "That's great information!" And then, I realize just how far I've come since I began this journey years ago. Used to, an incident like that would have floored me - dropped me right down to my knees in emotional pain. It would have knocked the breath right out of me and I would have taken it all in and on as somehow my fault, judging myself as not good enough, not worthy, and not lovable...never even considering that his perception really has little to do with me because it's nothing more than his story of me.

Today, I get clarity, and through the clarity I can take action that is aligned with what I'm creating - with the me that I'm consciously becoming. I can feel compassion for him and for myself, for our shared journeys, and for our internal distortions. And I can thank him for being such a spectacular teacher for me, supporting me in moving my own soul ever closer to its truth. And I can smile, filled with love for each one of us, even if he doesn't know it. And I can breathe in the peace that comes with having an open, spacious heart no matter what.

Ah - so that's what it feels like. That's how it feels to stand in my own integrity and to honor it, while honoring others as they stand in theirs too, however it looks and however it feels. I mean INTEGRITY with a capital 'I' - that inner truth that is uniquely mine based on my own perceptions, beliefs, etc. There's no right or wrong; there just is. He is and I am  - we both are doing our best in each moment with the information that we have at the time. And that's a beautiful thing because that's all we can really ever do.



©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

Service

My prayer on many days is "How can I be of service today?" What I mean is: What can I do, how can I show up today in a way that is aligned with the Divine, in service to the Divine? That is my intent. I cannot say how that intent will show up or manifest in my life, yet I can say that I'm certain it will, and that I am committed to honoring whatever it is.

When my mind criticizes me for "not doing enough," I remember my true intent. My true intent is not necessarily to complete this or that from my long list of "to-dos," or produce this or that, or even to find and fulfill my life's purpose. These days, I recognize that being in service to the Divine is what gives my life purpose. The form that service takes will change and shift. Sometimes, publishing a book is being in service; other times, allowing myself a day of rest and contemplation is in service. And other times, maybe setting my lists aside and supporting a friend is in service.

Every day, my intent is to be in service to the Divine, yet I don't know what form that service will take until it arises. Following the energy of what arises is being in service to the Divine, because what arises is aligned with the Divine. Following the energy of what arises is a way of honoring my connection to the Divine. I am - we all are - a bridge between this physical realm and that energetic one; between the mundane and the sacred; between what we experience here and the Mystery that dwells beyond here. We are sacred vessels through which the energy of the Divine breaths...

Every step I take toward recognizing and realizing my own Divinity, I am in service. Years ago, spiritual author and teacher Marianne Williamson said: "We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” As I accept and allow my own "brilliance" to shine in the world as a unique Messenger of the Divine, the brilliance of others is enhanced. As I raise my own vibration, the vibration of others is raised... Wow! All I have to do is walk my own journey with authenticity and integrity and I am in service...

And although the term "God" has all kinds of symbology attached to it, we are speaking of the same Highest and Divine Power, or Life Force, or Energy behind all that is made manifest here. Every time I acknowledge the presence of that Divine Energy in myself or something else, I am in service. Because being in my integrity - standing in my own Divinity, honoring the Divine in all things, doing what is in alignment with the Divine as it moves through me from moment to moment - is one of the highest forms of service I can offer.

OK. I can handle that. I enjoy the fluidity of life, the magic of not knowing exactly what will be arising next. It's a curious, interesting, and fun surprise every day. It keeps me present and conscious. I couldn't always say that. Today as I count down my time here, I can say that.




©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

"The Way"

So part of the challenge of "We are all messengers; we are all Divine" is how to handle the "tough" parts of this life. Like - what if the leader of our country holds entirely different beliefs then me? Beliefs that I reject to my core? And then, what if that leader acts on those beliefs in the world - as a representative of me? Only it's not me; it's not at all aligned with what I believe, with the world I choose to create, support, and hold... What do I do with that?

I've spent time contemplating things of this nature in the past, extending the issue out to the community I live in. What about the person who acts out of integrity? Who is a rapist? A child molester? A thief? What about the tragic accident that killed my friends? What about natural disasters? What about the illness that killed my loved one? And on and on and on... Are these things Divine?

I bet most of us wonder about such things now and again, especially when faced with them personally. Yet here's the deal: The Divine Source that I believe in is dynamic; it is a catalyst for movement and change. It is founded in energy, and energy is not static; it's dynamic. The natural world created by this Source, then, is also dynamic; it moves and changes in cycles, and the cycles never fail. Things arise ("birth"), exist, and then fall away again ("death"). It's all temporary except for the Source. The Source is always present "behind the scenes" of this life. Quantum physics is proving this now, that this is an  energetically-based life, yet that's an entirely different blog...

And it doesn't matter what you call this Divine Source, what symbol or language you choose to use to describe it; it's the same Source in my opinion; and that's just my opinion. It can be God, Goddess, Gaia, Spirit, Allah, Great Creator, Divine Source, Buddha, etc.. Take your pick; they all point to the same mystical, energetic Source in the end.

So - if I believe that all things are of the same Source, and if I believe that this Source is Divine in its nature, then all things are of the Divine. And beyond that, if I believe that all things are of this Divine Source, and I believe that this Source is sacred, then all things are sacred. So, if I hold faith in these beliefs, then all things in this life are both sacred and Divine, even the tough ones.

Yet, how can that be? How can suffering, destruction, trauma and such be sacred and Divine? I may never have an answer to that question. But I can at least accept these things as part of the natural (sacred, Divine) flow of energy in life as we experience it. And I can at least accept that it is all part of the "arise-exist-fall away" cycle which is an essential part of this energetically-based life. Some Native Americans call this cycle "The Way."

From this perspective, suffering is the "falling away" of comfort and comfort is the "falling away of suffering; destruction is the "falling away" of creation and creation is the "falling away" of destruction; trauma is the "falling away" of safety and safety is the "falling away" of trauma. You get the picture. Everything arises, exists, and falls away again. These are all temporary states of being, just as everything else is, just as I am, because it's simply the way of energy...The Way. There is no time to the cycles; they simply happen when they happen. 

I arose into this form at conception; I exist; and at some point I will fall away again from this form. It's just "The Way" or the "Law" of energy, and I am, we all are, energy in the end.


©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

Words of Wisdom

So I went to see don Miguel Ruiz and his two sons (don Miguel Jr. & don Jose) speak at Unity in Wimberley earlier this week. It was a fabulous, big "energetic love fest." They are all very different in their delivery of wisdom, yet each one gracefully and powerfully shared it, reaching out with passion, integrity, honesty, and mostly love. As I sat in the room filled with people - other seekers like me - I not only felt the vibe of the energy that was happening in that room, but I saw it. Sometimes I can do that; sometimes Spirit blesses me with the ability to see the beautiful energy that radiates from people. Sometimes it's other colors yet mostly, like this night, it is a bright, sparkly whitish-yellow light surrounding everyone. It seems to rise out from the body anywhere from an inch to nearly a foot when folks are impassioned. When I go to talks like this one, I use the energy of the speaker and in the room to help me discern the integrity of the experience. For all the controversy that can attach itself to powerful teachers, masters, enlightened beings - whatever you choose to call them - this experience was, in my opinion, both inspired and inspiring.

I heard so many beautiful words of wisdom yet three gifts stood out to me. The first, spoken by don Jose, was: "When we hold ourselves as Angel, we don't need a heaven from outside ourselves." HELLO: REMEMBER YOUR DIVINE NATURE! I was reminded that we are all - each and every one of us - born of the same sacred womb of creation - One Divine Source. So I am - me - I am a part of that Divinity; yes, I am an "Angel" (my interpretation: messenger of the Divine; child of the Divine). With that energy behind me, oh the possibilities...

...which leads to the second thing I heard that stood out to me, also spoken by don Jose. It was the reminder that: "Every one of us is a messenger. What is your message?" What a powerful question for me to ask myself during this year to live. "WHAT IS MY MESSAGE?" When my physical body surrenders it's breath and my eternal energy body goes wherever it goes, what will my message to the world be? What will I leave behind in my wake? This is a stunning question, and the best answer I have at the moment is: "Well, I hope I leave behind something that folks can grow from..."

...which leads to the third thing I heard that caught my energy and attention, from the amazing HeatherAsh Amara, one of my Toltec teachers. She closed out the talk by declaring: "Life invites us all the time; create yourself!" Wow. CREATE MYSELF. This phrase rang in my head for quite some time: CREATE MYSELF. The third piece of an interesting puzzle fell into place when she spoke those words. The puzzle is this:

"I am an Angel - a messenger of the Divine (as we all are). What is my message? How can I create myself to reflect that message?" I have 290 days to figure it out.

©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

An Ordinary Kind of Day

Today was an ordinary kind of day. Woke up, recorded anything I could recall from my dreams, fed the dog, changed clothes, and went for a long walk in an undeveloped wooded neighborhood near my home. It was cold but still – no wind - so the walk was pleasant. A dear friend joined me so it was a “chatty” walk whereas most of the others are done in silence attending to the sensory experience, or at most, chanting. It was good, though, because she gave me some good insights around something I’m frustrated by and trying to move through in a graceful way. Ah, the wisdom of an outside perspective…

I spent the afternoon running errands here and elsewhere, responding to emails, and carving out 20 minutes to have some lunch; actually, by the time I ate, it was closer to supper time. My evening was focused on teaching a kundalini yoga class for post-holiday-junk-food detoxifying…just what we all needed. And now, here I am, piled up on my sofa, dog at my feet, cats curled up in their beds beside me. Cozy is how I would describe this moment in my life.

My life… moving forward quicker than I can track it; minutes tick-tocking by invisibly, counting down my remaining time here… tick tock tick tock tick tock. This is a moment to savor, yes. I’m finding that every moment of my life is a moment to savor, even the uncomfortable ones. Like tonight – I developed a migraine before my yoga class. It was bad enough to make me nauseous. I chose to teach anyway, through the discomfort. I’ve never done that before. My migraines are usually spent piled up in bed, house dark and quiet, wet rag on my forehead, praying to fall asleep and wake up pain-free.

Yet Levine teaches to open beyond moments of discomfort and to be fully present with “what is.” He says to call it “the pain” rather than “my pain.” So I did. I taught yoga with “the pain” and “the nausea” and “the sensitivity to sound and light” rather than my, my, my discomfort. This simple practice allowed me to put some distance between what my body was experiencing and what I truly am, which is something beyond this body. It allowed me to hold the discomfort as just another sensory experience, albeit an uncomfortable one, without identifying with it. And it was a great opportunity to give my body the space to practice “allowing” through whatever sensory experience is happening, despite its flavor.

Because the question is: “How will I die?” And the answer is: “I don’t know.” I might die in a comfortable way, but I might die in an uncomfortable way. If my body has no anchor for how to move through “the discomfort” gracefully, what will it do if it’s dying in an uncomfortable way? How will it move through “the dying?”

©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

New Year's Eve 2009

It's an absolutely gorgeous day in central Texas. A new year approaches. Tonight, we celebrate its arrival. I contemplate: "This is my last New Year's Eve!" Everyone is making quick decisions about how they want to spend it. Our personal plans have changed two or three times already. The final decision: we stay local. We invite a handful of close friends over and we do some ceremony to mark the end and the beginning... No crowds. No driving. No drunken hooping and hollering. Just my sweetie, intimate friends, good snacks, some champagne, lots of love, and a bit of magic...Perfect.

And so it is: this New Year's Eve I celebrate the end, the beginning, and the End, for it is my last-ever New Year's as this person having this life. And as this person having this life, I can say that my heart is full, and as the Native Americans say, "Today is a good day to die, for all the things of my life are present."

3:51 p.m.: Hours now into this last day of 2009 and the energy all around is shifting. The truth is that my friends and I contemplate Lady Death more then your average Jane. The spiritual path we all follow encourages us to keep "The Lady" close at hand, for one never knows when they will feel the tap of her long finger on their shoulder. We've learned to honor the Angel of Death as our ally; she teaches us to live more fully, as she has the power to call us "home" at any moment.

The question is: "Can we really find more life by feeling more death?"

Have a happy-filled, warm-hearted, face-smiling, slapping good time tonight folks! No matter where you are or what you do, celebrate tonight as though it were your last New Years Eve ever, because it just might be...


©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.

A Year to Live

Nearly two months ago I began a journey into a year to live. Follow my adventure through this final year. This is my first blog entry:

314…That’s how many days I have left to live. My final year started on November 1, 2009 and ends on November 1, 2010. Yep – that’s one year, alright; one year left to live…

I’m just around the corner from being two months into this year and already, things feel different. In November when this began, 365 days - 12 months - felt like an awfully long time considering I live most days with the awareness that it might be my last. Having 365 days guaranteed suddenly felt like plenty!

In the first few weeks of this journey, everything felt extra special. I spent as much time as possible with
friends and family, holding in my heart that my time with them was limited. Thanksgiving left me in a quandary as I contemplated who to spend my last one with: Where did I most want to be and with whom? Now, Christmas approaches and the same contemplation arises: How do I really want to spend this Christmas?

What I’m finding is that wherever I am and whomever I am with is perfect. No place or person is better or worse than any other, no matter what our relationship may be. Every experience is worth having, makes me human, and reminds me of my humanness. Every fleeting moment is cherished for whatever it offers. Every experience makes life life. Life is all times, not just the ones we like. And right now, I am feeling happy and grateful to have them, one and all.

So this is my last year. Am I really going to sell everything and move to Italy? Travel the world? Confess all of my guilts? Throw caution to the wind? The truth is that the people and places I love most are all right here, just like in that silly Christmastime movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You know when I was younger, I hated that movie. I hated that Jimmy Stewart’s character gave up all of his dreams for others; it felt like he was robbed of his freedom and finally just gave up. I never understood why people liked it so much…

But now I’m getting a different feel for it. Now, I’m beginning to see that what’s really important is always right here before me, wherever I am and whomever I’m with. All I have to do is open the eyes of my heart.


©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.