A Year to Live

Nearly two months ago I began a journey into a year to live. Follow my adventure through this final year. This is my first blog entry:

314…That’s how many days I have left to live. My final year started on November 1, 2009 and ends on November 1, 2010. Yep – that’s one year, alright; one year left to live…

I’m just around the corner from being two months into this year and already, things feel different. In November when this began, 365 days - 12 months - felt like an awfully long time considering I live most days with the awareness that it might be my last. Having 365 days guaranteed suddenly felt like plenty!

In the first few weeks of this journey, everything felt extra special. I spent as much time as possible with
friends and family, holding in my heart that my time with them was limited. Thanksgiving left me in a quandary as I contemplated who to spend my last one with: Where did I most want to be and with whom? Now, Christmas approaches and the same contemplation arises: How do I really want to spend this Christmas?

What I’m finding is that wherever I am and whomever I am with is perfect. No place or person is better or worse than any other, no matter what our relationship may be. Every experience is worth having, makes me human, and reminds me of my humanness. Every fleeting moment is cherished for whatever it offers. Every experience makes life life. Life is all times, not just the ones we like. And right now, I am feeling happy and grateful to have them, one and all.

So this is my last year. Am I really going to sell everything and move to Italy? Travel the world? Confess all of my guilts? Throw caution to the wind? The truth is that the people and places I love most are all right here, just like in that silly Christmastime movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You know when I was younger, I hated that movie. I hated that Jimmy Stewart’s character gave up all of his dreams for others; it felt like he was robbed of his freedom and finally just gave up. I never understood why people liked it so much…

But now I’m getting a different feel for it. Now, I’m beginning to see that what’s really important is always right here before me, wherever I am and whomever I’m with. All I have to do is open the eyes of my heart.


©2010 Cecilia L. Zúñiga. A Year To Live. All Rights Reserved. Reprints, copies or reproductions of any kind must be accompanied by copyright credit line.