Good Dancin' & Glowing Wrist Bands

This past Saturday my Sweetie and I went out dancing with a group of friends. When we walked through the door of this particular bar, they passed out glowing wrist bands but we didn't get one. They were for singles only. I thought that was an interesting concept - to glowingly identify all the "singles."

Why would they do that? I wondered what the incentive was for this: So singles could find each other more easily? So there wouldn't be any question about availability? So no one would tread where they best not? To avoid any fights or bar brawls? To make girl/boy friend shopping easier?

And I wondered: What ever happened to dialogue and getting to know someone? What's wrong with talking to a married or coupled person? What's wrong with flirting with them? Dancing with them? Enjoying them? Is this not allowed? Did the glowing wrist bands signal "I'm open for business" or "Hands off?"

As I watched my friends dance with each other and strangers in the bar, I got this weird sense of isolation. Was it true that people avoided me because I wasn't wearing a glowing wrist band? I tried to see the wrists of all the gliding two-steppers on the dance floor but it was hard to catch a glimpse as they passed. And there was my Sweetie - wrist-bandless and taking turns dancing with everyone. I have to admit that for just a second, I felt the green-eyed monster that night, but it wasn't about my Sweetie having so much fun; it was about me feeling a little bit left out. I'm still recovering from an injury in March and I wasn't feeling all that great so was taking things slow. Not so for everyone else; they were beer-drinkin', two-steppin' fools!

It's a good thing to shake up your comfort zone once in a while. I got to see my Sweetie as a well-sought-after commodity that night - a fabulous dancer and partner that other people would snatch up in a split second if the opportunity was there. I deepened into my appreciation, gratitude and love for the trust and partnership we share as I watched all the energy swirling around that bar and dance floor to the beat of an old country song.

About halfway through the night I heard one of our friends say "We need to find me a girlfriend." And immediately everyone's eyes began to scan the room for the perfect girl. As I sat on my bar stool sipping a Boilermaker, the rest of our crowd were pointing and discussing the different women they spotted wearing glowing wrist bands: "No, not her; how 'bout HER?" Was it really that simple? Are girlfriends nothing more than good dancing or a glowing wrist band?

   

Later that night I considered what those glowing wrist bands really meant: nothing. It comes down to people's own integrity. If you want to sleep with a single and they want to sleep with you, it's gonna happen whether they are wearing a glowing wrist band or not. Being in a couple isn't a guarantee; it's an agreement, and that agreement is only as good as the two people who make it.

Today I am deeply grateful that the person I've made that agreement with is a person of integrity that I can rest into.