Birds, fawns, & dogs

An interesting day unfolded yesterday. Found a white-winged dove hung up in a wire fence so I gently freed it and sent it lots of love... before it died. I guess it had been there struggling for too long. Felt better after spotting tiny little Angel fawn prancing about our back field in a clearing; ah the beauty of youth!

 Took my dog for a long walk and smiled at the singing white winged doves on the wire; sent them my gratitude for their singing and my heart for the loss of their kin. And then had the awareness that it was my kin, too.


Climbed to the top of a 220-step hilltop with my dog for the third time at the end of our walk.  I was seated on a ledge enjoying the cool morning breeze and sunrise when she wobbled over to me, unable to balance herself. I quickly realized that she was having a dizzy spell - the first I've ever witnessed. I held her body close to mine and grounded our energy into the hilltop until I was certain that the spell had passed.

She was clearly confused by it and looked blankly up at me as if asking "What the hell was that??" I reassured her that she was OK and then headed down the hill for home so she could cool down and relax. When we got to the car, she was unable to leap in as she usually does; I had to give her a butt boost. She's been fine ever since, yet it's been in my awareness that she is now 9 years old and unable to keep up with the same walking distance and pace we always have. She doesn't want to go as far, walks more slowly, and doesn't always make the leap up into the car on the first try.

The experience brought the finality of our time together to the forefront of my awareness. Just how much time do I have left with this precious companion? I don't know; we never know. All I know is that I will miss her tremendously when she is gone...just another reminder to cherish every moment with her, and with all of this life.

Later, I rescued a frantic and squawking baby cardinal from the mouth of our big black cat, Jester. I put it in the bed of our pickup truck out back (with the tailgate down, backed into our bamboo forest) where it would hopefully be safe from rogue cats and critters so it could get it's bearings again. I tried to set it up on a small tree limb, but it could not grasp the branch with its feet. When I left it for the night, it was mostly sitting up, legs and feet limp, breathing normally and looking about in confusion. I didn't see any injuries, so figured it was just in shock. I didn't have time to check on it this morning to see how it fared before heading to Austin for the day...

But what I did do was contemplate more deeply the fact that some things exist here for what feels like a very long time, and some for what feels like a very little time, and some, for any amount of time in between. We never know who gets what. We also don't know why things are here for the time that they are; we can only trust that it's for some significant purpose, even if we can't know for ourselves what that purpose is.

I witness...life arising, existing and falling away again...constantly. I can't seem to miss it these days. It's happening everywhere, all the time; even in my own body and being. And if it weren't? How would things feel different? That's an interesting thing to contemplate because when I do, I realize what a gift "death" is; what a beautiful and necessary balance that cycle creates for us. Will I still feel that way when it's me that's doing the dying??