Just Who's Driving?

Ever have one of those times when you wonder "Just who's driving?"

I had one of those the other night. I was driving home from a gathering in Austin and found myself obsessed about getting some fast food french fries. It's true that maybe a few times a year I eat french fries at a restaurant but I never eat fast food. I have to be pretty desperate before grabbing anything at the drive through... It does happen but only in the rarest of odd moments of starvation and crankiness.

So the fact that I suddenly had to have french fries was curious to me. I decided to get them. Well, the truth is that I'm not sure what happened but I found myself at a Wendy's drive through ordering not a small but a large order of fries. Hmmmm. At that point, I can say that I decided to get them; I chose to drive to the window, pay, grab my fries and go, even though I debated screeching out of there in disgust.

I admit that I ate the whole lot of them and I enjoyed them too - every single one. A part of me felt incredibly nurtured and nourished by those greasy, salty fries. She relaxed all the way home. She groaned over their crispy hotness. She smiled. She felt relieved and satisfied...

"Who is that??" I wondered what part of me was so fulfilled by those icky french fries. I realized that I do my best to eat healthy, even if it means not eating at all. What happens next is that a part of me feels neglected when I don't eat enough, and it is she who wants nurturing then... not with healthy food but with comfort food.

Here's what I learned about myself that night: When I feed myself consciously, I eat regularly and healthy. When I put busyness over food, I skip the eating, get cranky and tired, and then crave comfort food. It triggers feelings of vulnerability and a lack of love. It may seem odd to say "love" but it's true: Nourishing the body with healthy food is an act of self-love.

And since my tummy is grumbling loudly as I write this, I'm going to sign off now and give myself some self-love... fresh fruit, nuts and granola for breakfast!

Choose Love

I started off this year doing something I've never done before: Instead of sleeping through or partying in the new year, I went to a gentle yoga class from 10 p.m. to midnight and then with this beautiful group of people, chanted in 2011 with "Om." At midnight, we shared a very full "Happy New Year!" and then popped open some champagne to toast the movement, the newness, the brightness and the divine. Wow - it was inspiring...

This year already seems to have some themes. The ones that I've noticed already are:

• a beautiful blending of old and new
• lots of movement - energetic and otherwise
• lots of openings - opportunities to step into new things 
• lots of doorways or gateways - choices to brighten our lives
• divine support - the shifts are happening easier and faster

I've heard the word "easy" more times in the past few days than I can count. And I've heard story after story from folks about how some need they had was quickly and easily met in an unexpected way, or how their long-time dream - whatever it was - suddenly became a reality. I take these stories as a really good sign for 2011!

I feel the Source energy vibrating more quickly now as if it is poised to respond to people's choices with excitement and love. And I sense that it's not the Source energy that has shifted; it's us who have and are shifting. Possibilities and opportunities have always been here, and it has been up to us to see them, open to them and choose them for ourselves.

Choice is our nature and our gift. Every movement of our energy is a choice - our thoughts, feelings and actions. Whatever we choose is perfect. Yet I've learned to choose in each moment with awareness that it is a choice - my choice - and that all choices have physical and vibrational consequences.

 I cannot control the choices of others, yet I can control the choices of myself. Despite what anyone around me chooses, I can always choose for myself. It's just that simple.

I am reminded once again of a line from a song one of my spiritual teachers felt inspired to write recently: "Choose as love what is." I can make a conscious choice to be inspired and driven to action by love rather than something else, just because I can; it's my choice. What do you choose?